Yes I am a Parent

December 24, 2025

Dr. Isha Kohli
A doctorate holder in Microbiology

Yes, you read me write. I am a parent to just not my womb child who is 11 years old but also mom by heart to all my students and I am not petrified to write that like all I am also juggling day and night to balance my own growth for the development of my children. The parent coaching is a whole new thing that teaches the tips and tricks for effective parenting that is helping new age parents, the job that initially the grandparents (Dadi’s and Nani’s) did. While dealing with children of almost all age for more than 2 decades now, I recognized that good parenting does not need any set of rules and regulations to guide a child. Although, during these years I have identified few principles that might help a parent to guide the child. Amongst the principles, the crucial being Mother’s nurturing self before training the child or the families and friends around them.

Nurturing and training self:
Why my child is always on screen? Why my child does not study? Why my child does not speak, he is already 3? Is my child matching the requirements to run the race of life? Unlimited questions in our (mother’s) hearts because of the deep care and baseless expectations to meet society’s needs. This results in forgetting ourselves as an individual and leads to confusion, anxiety, clarity and lack of happiness. Being tired of all these hurdles, we land ourselves in a place where we feel that we don’t have time. A few years back, I asked myself is it about time.

The supreme power of realization answered and I understood that it’s not time, the truth is it’s about priorities. Priorities not just for the ones whom we gave birth to, but also for our own self. I started giving time to myself, exploring my passions (learning new things and creating a new hobbies and passion that I never knew existed in me) which took me out from the zone of guilt and now I am not emotionally struck. I am more aware, evolved and a new parent to my child and my child now is learning new things from me because of the radiating energy that I have as a parent. I have already pledged to be always present for my child rather than being a perfect parent. Have you taken the pledge yet?
Should we be friends to our children?
In a close conversation with few fellow friends who are also millennial parents, I realized that they often feel guilty if they command their child. This made me curious to understand the parent and child’s psychology. Authoritative or friendly, are you also struggling to find out what type of parent you should be? Yes, indeed it’s difficult to find the balance as per the child’s psychological needs. Parents, nowadays are consciously trying new ways to coach their children differently.
Probably many of them are trying to fill the emotional or communication gap that they faced during their childhood. In the process they do not speak with authority to their young ones rather they openly communicate, respect their opinions, make them feel valued and secure.

While practicing this, many a times the fine line between parenting and friendship fades which leads to over permissive parenting and parents feel guilty to restrict and say no to the child’s irrational wish. Let’s make it clean and clear in our heads that children have their peers at school and the environment they are living in. Clearly, they do not need us as their friends. However, they need leaders or better called friendly leaders or coaches who can pave their development map with responsibility and guide them in decision making in their best interest.
We want to raise confident and resilient children, let’s be their safe space by guiding and supporting them friendly rather than being their friends and secret keepers.

I am promising myself to be my child’s friendly leader who is warm, compassionate, emotionally connected, readily available and empathethic so that he is more emotionally stable rather than a confused or insecure individual by just being his friend. Do you promise that with me?
Manuals are available to operate machines and not humans hence there is no tried and tested techniques available for good parenting and in the uncertainty to become a better parent they pick information from all the sources available. Understand this, that right guidance definitely help but too much information will again bring anxiety and lack of clarity in head.
The wisdom and understanding to blend traditional methods (the ones we had in our childhood) and modern trends will mindfully nurture the young hearts.

Spiritually engaging self and the child will help parents to pause, stay calm and radiate powerful energy and acquire the journey blooming with peace, tranquility and confidence. Children have their own life journeys, lead them rightfully and friendly to their life journey rather than treating them as possessions. A spiritual parent is a source of unconditional love, consciousness and inner strength and will mindfully pave the journey of mutual growth of self and child. Close the eyes and feel energy and happiness. Shout to self that yes I am a parent and that is my biggest strength.
(The writer owns a kindergarten school and a coaching institute. She is seasoned expert in parenting and child’s psychology. In her personal life, she is a mother to an 11-year-old boy. With over two decades of hands-on experience, Dr. Kohli has worked extensively with children across a wide age range, from toddlers as young as two years to young college going adults.)